Racist Gift Basket, Part 1

Racist Gift Basket Part 1
Gabriel Iglesias Lyrics


Jump to: Overall Meaning ↴  Line by Line Meaning ↴So you guys, I wanted to find um...
a very special way to close out this event.
And I thought it'd be great if I could tell an old story that was from years ago that never made it to a one hour special.
And uh the cool part about this story is that it now has a different ending. (Laughter).
The story is called... "
The Gift Basket." (Cheers) Some of you know it, some of you don't know it but after this you're never gonna forget it. (Laughter) All you have to know about this story is that all the people involved have always been and will continue to be frieinds.
With that being said, Martin and I.(Laughter) All the good ones start like that, "
Martin and I." (Laughter) Are scheduled to perform in Northern California. Usually we fly, but this particular day I was having a problem with Southwest Airlines, they wanted me to pay for an extra seat for someone who wasn't traveling with me. (Laughter) Take your time you'll figure it out.
Anyway, I tell Martin I'm not paying for an extra seat let's just drive, it's 6 hours. (Car motor) So we headed North.
3 hours into the drive we're passing through a city called Fresno.
And as we're pass- Hey Fresno (Spanish) Anyway, as we're passing through Fresno we start seeing billboards off the side of the freeway that said: "
Performing this weekend, at the Radison Hotel, directly from B.
T's comic view and Showtime at the Apollo, comedian G.
Reilly.
And I look at Martin I say "
Oh shoot G's in town." And Martin goes "
Yeah I haven't seen G in years." So we're like "
Let's stop by at the hotel and say hi." So we pull into the parking lot. (Car motor and tires screeching) I tell Martin "
He doesn't know we're here, I'm gonna crank call his room.
He goes "
What are you gonna say?" I said, I'm gonna tell him that on the front desk, he just recieved a gift basket.
He said "
What's so funny about a gift basket?" I said (Laughs) "
I'm gonna describe it over the phone, and
I'm gonna make all the items that are in this imaginary basket become items that stereotypically, a black person might like." (Laughter) "
Your crazy." I said, "
I'll tell you what, we got 2 hours to kill, how about we go to the super market, and we make an actual racist gift basket?" (Laughter) "
And we'll have it delivered and we'll wait outside to see what happens." I said, "
Are you down?" (Car doors slamming) (Car motor) We go a store, and we start to design the sickest practical joke ever.
I get a shopping cart and I'm like, "
We need a basket." So I find one, I take out the grass, the plastic eggs, and the chocolate rabbits.
And we start hitting the aisles.
First item I grab is a fried chicken about that big.
Okay?
See how quick that laugh was? (Laughter) (Fake laughs) There's a few black people in here like "
Muthafucka this better be funny!" (Laughter) It's hysterical, let me just finish the story then you can judge me in the parking lot.
So anyway, (Laughter) Then Martin hands me a miniture watermelon and I put it next to the fried chicken.
Here's where it gets interesting.
Employees of the store find out what we're doing and they start volunteering to help us finish the basket. (Laughter) Half of the employees were black which made it so much more accurate. (Laughter) Aisle after aisle, one guy was stocking a shelf, he was an older white guy, we're like "
Sir can you help us?" "
What do you need?" "
My buddy Martin and I are trying to make this messed up racist gift basket for our black friend as a practical joke, can you think of something we can put in there?" Without even blinking an eye the guy was like, "
Laughs, you gotta have Kool-Aid." (Laughs) "
It's at the end of the aisle on the right, malt liquor's the next aisle over at the back of the store in the freezer section, it's on sale 2 for 1." By the time we get to the register, all these different employees plus us came up with the basket that had fried chickin, watermelon, Kool-Aid, Grape soda, Barbeque potato chips, sunflower seeds, an Ebony magazine, a Chris Rock DVD called "
Bigger and Blacker," Magnum condoms, Newport cigarettes, a rack of ribs, the recipe for cornbread.
It was getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
Icing on the cake, we find a greeting card that's on clearence from Holloween, and it has a picture with three ghosts on the cover wearing sheets. (Laughter) I tear off the half that says "
Happy Holloween" and on the back of the card I write "
Welcome to Fresno.
Love, The Chamber of Commerce." (Laughter) And we stick it to the basket.
We made it all nice and pretty and we haul ass to the hotel. (Car motor) We pull up. (Tires screeching) (Car doors slam) We walk in.
The basket is hot as hell so I'm racing in.
I get inside and I put it on the counter as fast as I can bro.
It's too perfect, there's a black girl behind the front desk. (Laughter) As soon as I put the basket down I hear, "
Sniff, Sniff, Sniff, Is that chickin?" (Laughter) "
Ohh let me see-" "
Hold on (Laughs)" "
What is it?" "
Let me explain my name is Gabriel, this is Martin, we're a couple comedians and we're about to play a really crazy practical joke on a friend of ours who's staying here tonight, by the name of G.
Reilly, who's also a comedian." "
Oh the one that's on the signs on the freeway?" "
Yeah the one that's on the signs on the freeway, so as a practical joke we went to the store and made this messed up...
Racist gift basket that's why you can smell fried chickin." And she was like, "
Whaaat?" (Laughter) "
You need Jesus that's what you need." "
Kiki, girl you better hang up that phone you won't believe what I'm looking at over here girl." (Laughter) "
Listen, we think it would be hysterical if we could have you deliver the basket for us." She lost it. "
Oh the hell you didn't. "
I know you didn't just ask me to take that to a black man, you are out your damn mind, oooohhhh Lord, LOOORD!
Give me the strength, to not kill this big ass Mexican over here Lord." "
MM-mm." (Laugher) "uh-uh." "
Okay Look here Nacho Libre, I don't care who you are, I am not doing it hell no." "
I'll give you $50." "
Where that muthafucka at?" (Laughter) We follow her to the hotel
room, she knocks on the door.
Martin and I hide by the elevator on the floor.
She knocks (Knocks) G opens the door, sees a beautfiul black woman standing there with a gift basket. "
This is for you baby." He says thank you, closes the door.
She walks away and she sees us on the ground hiding right and and she's like "
Ya'll still going to hell." (Laughter) We get up and we walk over to the door and we put our ear "
LISTEN!" "
SSHH LISTEN!" This is what we hear inside: WOOAH!!
CHICKIN! (Laughter) "
OOHH KOOL-AID!!" "
MALT LIQUOR!" He's getting excited over every single item he's pulling out of the basket.
He gets to the greeting card, "
Welcome to Fresno.
Love, The Chamber of Commerce.
Hell yeah." Then we feel him flipping the card over because his voice changed.
He's like "
Aw yeah man this is- WHAT THE FUCK?!" (Laughter) Outside the door we heard "
RACIST BASTARDS!!!" When we heard "racist bastards" we lost it. "
AAAAAAAAHHHHHH." Housekeeping is freaking out. (Spanish) We're laughing, we're crying, we got boogers coming out.
We can't take it anymore.
We knock on the door (Knock knock) He yells. "
WHO IS IT?!" Too easy, "
Chamber of Commerce." (Laughter) He rushes the door.
I put my finger on the peephole so he can't see who it is right.
The knob start to jiggle then the door explodes open and he's like, "
WHAT?!?!" And he sees us and he's like "
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" "
What's up G?" "
Man ya'll give a brother a heart attack." "
Did you like your basket?" "
Man that was messed up." "

Did you like it?" "
Man, (sniffles) I love all that shit." (Laughter)


Overall Meaning

In Gabriel Iglesias's song Racist Gift Basket Part 1, the comedian narrates a story that occurred when he was on his way to perform in Northern California with Martin. They saw a billboard advertising that comedian G. Reilly was in town and decided to stop by to say hi to him. Gabriel had a cruel idea of pulling a prank on their black friend G. Reilly by making a racist gift basket. They visited a supermarket and picked several items stereotypically associated with black people, including fried chicken, watermelon, Kool-Aid, grape soda, barbecue potato chips, sunflower seeds, an Ebony magazine, a Chris Rock DVD, Magnum condoms, Newport cigarettes, and a recipe for cornbread. They even found a greeting card with a picture of ghosts wearing sheets that they altered to read, "Welcome to Fresno. Love, The Chamber of Commerce." Gabriel persuaded a black woman at the Hotel's front desk to deliver the basket to G. Reilly's room, which she reluctantly did, and when G. Reilly discovered what was in the basket, he yelled racial slurs, while Gabriel and Martin listened outside the door in amusement.


The story behind Gabriel Iglesias's Racist Gift Basket Part 1 is a humorous take on the level of casual racism that still exists today. Gabriel points the finger at both himself and society, highlighting that even though his actions were inappropriate and offensive, he has black friends and isn't racist. He also exposes the racist stereotypes that society associates with black people, with the fried chicken, watermelon, Kool-Aid, and other items he incorporated into the basket.


Line by Line Meaning

So you guys, I wanted to find um... a very special way to close out this event.
I wanted to find a unique and memorable way to end this event.


And I thought it'd be great if I could tell an old story that was from years ago that never made it to a one hour special.
I thought it would be great to share a story from the past that hasn't been featured in a full-length comedy special.


And uh the cool part about this story is that it now has a different ending. (Laughter).
The interesting part about this story is that it has a new and unexpected ending.


The story is called... " The Gift Basket." (Cheers) Some of you know it, some of you don't know it but after this you're never gonna forget it. (Laughter)
The story that I'm about to tell is called "The Gift Basket," and whether you're familiar with it or not, you won't be able to forget it after hearing it.


All you have to know about this story is that all the people involved have always been and will continue to be friends.
I want to clarify that everyone involved in this story, past and present, are good friends and have remained so.


With that being said, Martin and I. (Laughter) All the good ones start like that, " Martin and I." (Laughter) Are scheduled to perform in Northern California.
Now, let me introduce Martin and myself, as all great stories start with "Martin and I." We have a comedy performance scheduled in Northern California.


Usually we fly, but this particular day I was having a problem with Southwest Airlines, they wanted me to pay for an extra seat for someone who wasn't traveling with me. (Laughter) Take your time you'll figure it out.
Normally, we would fly to our destination, but on this specific day, I encountered an issue with Southwest Airlines. They were asking me to pay for an additional seat for a person who wasn't even traveling with me. You can take your time to understand the humor in this situation.


Anyway, I tell Martin I'm not paying for an extra seat let's just drive, it's 6 hours. (Car motor) So we headed North.
So, instead of paying for an extra seat, I suggest to Martin that we drive to our destination, which would take approximately 6 hours. We both agree and start heading north.


3 hours into the drive we're passing through a city called Fresno.
After driving for about 3 hours, we find ourselves passing through a city called Fresno.


And as we're pass- Hey Fresno (Spanish) Anyway, as we're passing through Fresno we start seeing billboards off the side of the freeway that said: " Performing this weekend, at the Radisson Hotel, directly from B.T's comic view and Showtime at the Apollo, comedian G. Reilly.
While passing through Fresno, we notice billboards along the freeway advertising a comedian named G. Reilly, who will be performing at the Radisson Hotel. The billboards mentioned his appearances on B.T's comic view and Showtime at the Apollo.


And I look at Martin I say " Oh shoot G's in town." And Martin goes " Yeah I haven't seen G in years." So we're like " Let's stop by at the hotel and say hi." So we pull into the parking lot. (Car motor and tires screeching)
Realizing that G. Reilly is in town, I excitedly tell Martin that we should stop by the hotel to visit him. We quickly pull into the hotel parking lot.


I tell Martin " He doesn't know we're here, I'm gonna crank call his room.
I inform Martin that G. Reilly is not aware of our presence, and I intend to prank him by making a fake phone call to his hotel room.


He goes " What are you gonna say?" I said, I'm gonna tell him that on the front desk, he just received a gift basket.
Martin asks me about the content of the prank call, and I explain that I plan to inform G. Reilly that there is a gift basket waiting for him at the front desk.


He said " What's so funny about a gift basket?" I said (Laughs) " I'm gonna describe it over the phone, and I'm gonna make all the items that are in this imaginary basket become items that stereotypically, a black person might like." (Laughter)
Martin questions the humor behind a gift basket, and I humorously respond that I intend to describe the contents of the imaginary basket over the phone, focusing on items that are stereotypically associated with the preferences of black individuals.


Your crazy." I said, " I'll tell you what, we got 2 hours to kill, how about we go to the supermarket, and we make an actual racist gift basket?" (Laughter) " And we'll have it delivered and we'll wait outside to see what happens." I said, " Are you down?" (Car doors slamming) (Car motor)
Martin acknowledges my audacious plan and calls me crazy. However, I propose that we use the remaining 2 hours to go to the supermarket and create a genuine gift basket with racially insensitive items. Additionally, I suggest that we have the basket delivered and wait outside to see how G. Reilly reacts. I ask Martin if he agrees with this plan.


We go a store, and we start to design the sickest practical joke ever.
We enter a store and begin to orchestrate the most outrageous prank ever conceived.


I get a shopping cart and I'm like, " We need a basket." So I find one, I take out the grass, the plastic eggs, and the chocolate rabbits.
To create the gift basket, I locate a shopping cart and identify a suitable basket. I proceed to remove the decorative grass, plastic eggs, and chocolate rabbits typically found in such baskets.


And we start hitting the aisles.
We begin exploring the different aisles of the store.


First item I grab is a fried chicken about that big. Okay? See how quick that laugh was? (Laughter) (Fake laughs)
The first item I grab is a large piece of fried chicken. The audience laughs immediately, illustrating the comedic nature of the choice.


There's a few black people in here like " Muthafucka this better be funny!" (Laughter) It's hysterical, let me just finish the story then you can judge me in the parking lot.
Some individuals in the audience, specifically black individuals, express an expectation for the joke to be funny. I assure them that it will be, and encourage them to listen to the rest of the story before forming their judgement.


So anyway, (Laughter) Then Martin hands me a miniature watermelon and I put it next to the fried chicken.
Moving on with the story, Martin hands me a small watermelon, which I place next to the fried chicken in the basket.


Here's where it gets interesting. Employees of the store find out what we're doing and they start volunteering to help us finish the basket. (Laughter) Half of the employees were black which made it so much more accurate. (Laughter)
Now, things start to become intriguing. The store employees become aware of our prank and willingly offer their assistance in completing the basket. Notably, half of the employees happen to be black, adding an extra layer of authenticity to our prank.


Aisle after aisle, one guy was stocking a shelf, he was an older white guy, we're like " Sir can you help us?" " What do you need?" " My buddy Martin and I are trying to make this messed up racist gift basket for our black friend as a practical joke, can you think of something we can put in there?" Without even blinking an eye the guy was like, " Laughs, you gotta have Kool-Aid." (Laughs) " It's at the end of the aisle on the right, malt liquor's the next aisle over at the back of the store in the freezer section, it's on sale 2 for 1."
As we traverse the aisles, we approach an older white employee who is stocking the shelves. We explain our intentions to create a racist gift basket as a prank for our black friend and ask for his input. Without any hesitation, the employee offers a humorous suggestion of including Kool-Aid. He even provides detailed directions to find the Kool-Aid and malt liquor, jokingly mentioning a 2-for-1 sale.


By the time we get to the register, all these different employees plus us came up with the basket that had fried chicken, watermelon, Kool-Aid, Grape soda, Barbeque potato chips, sunflower seeds, an Ebony magazine, a Chris Rock DVD called " Bigger and Blacker," Magnum condoms, Newport cigarettes, a rack of ribs, the recipe for cornbread.
As we reach the checkout counter, both the store employees and ourselves have collaborated to assemble a basket containing fried chicken, watermelon, Kool-Aid, Grape soda, Barbeque potato chips, sunflower seeds, an Ebony magazine, a Chris Rock DVD titled "Bigger and Blacker," Magnum condoms, Newport cigarettes, a rack of ribs, and a cornbread recipe.


It was getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger.
The basket was growing in size as we continued adding more items to it.


Icing on the cake, we find a greeting card that's on clearance from Halloween, and it has a picture with three ghosts on the cover wearing sheets. (Laughter) I tear off the half that says " Happy Halloween" and on the back of the card I write " Welcome to Fresno. Love, The Chamber of Commerce." (Laughter) And we stick it to the basket.
To enhance the prank, we come across a Halloween-themed greeting card on clearance, featuring three ghosts wearing sheets on the cover. I tear off the "Happy Halloween" section and write "Welcome to Fresno. Love, The Chamber of Commerce" on the back of the card. We attach the card to the basket, adding a final humorous touch.


We made it all nice and pretty and we haul ass to the hotel. (Car motor) We pull up. (Tires screeching) (Car doors slam) We walk in. The basket is hot as hell so I'm racing in. I get inside and I put it on the counter as fast as I can bro.
After preparing the basket with care, we quickly make our way to the hotel. We pull up, enter the hotel, and I rush to the front desk with the basket. It feels hot, but I place it on the counter as quickly as possible.


It's too perfect, there's a black girl behind the front desk. (Laughter) As soon as I put the basket down I hear, " Sniff, Sniff, Sniff, Is that chicken?" (Laughter) " Ohh let me see-" " Hold on (Laughs)" " What is it?" " Let me explain my name is Gabriel, this is Martin, we're a couple comedians and we're about to play a really crazy practical joke on a friend of ours who's staying here tonight, by the name of G. Reilly, who's also a comedian." " Oh, the one that's on the signs on the freeway?" " Yeah, the one that's on the signs on the freeway, so as a practical joke, we went to the store and made this messed up... Racist gift basket that's why you can smell fried chicken." And she was like, " Whaaat?" (Laughter) " You need Jesus, that's what you need." " Kiki, girl you better hang up that phone, you won't believe what I'm looking at over here girl." (Laughter) " Listen, we think it would be hysterical if we could have you deliver the basket for us." She lost it. " Oh, the hell you didn't. " I know you didn't just ask me to take that to a black man, you are out your damn mind, oooohhhh Lord, LOOORD! Give me the strength, to not kill this big ass Mexican over here Lord." " MM-mm." (Laugher) " uh-uh." " Okay Look here Nacho Libre, I don't care who you are, I am not doing it hell no." " I'll give you $50." " Where that muthafucka at?" (Laughter)
To our delight, there happens to be a black woman working at the front desk. Moments after placing the basket down, she catches a whiff and exclaims, "Is that chicken?" Intrigued, she wants to see what's in the basket. I quickly introduce myself and Martin as comedians planning a crazy practical joke on our friend G. Reilly, who is also a comedian. I clarify that we went to the store to create a racially insensitive gift basket, which explains the smell of fried chicken. The woman is taken aback by the situation and humorously suggests that we need Jesus. She even shares the experience with her friend, Kiki, on the phone and expresses her disbelief. Eventually, we propose that she deliver the basket on our behalf, which overwhelms her with shock and resistance. However, when offered $50, she quickly changes her stance and accepts the task.


We follow her to the hotel room, she knocks on the door. Martin and I hide by the elevator on the floor. She knocks (Knocks) G opens the door, sees a beautiful black woman standing there with a gift basket. " This is for you baby." He says thank you, closes the door. She walks away and she sees us on the ground hiding right and she's like " Ya'll still going to hell." (Laughter) We get up and we walk over to the door and we put our ear " LISTEN!" " SSHH LISTEN!" This is what we hear inside: WOOAH!! CHICKEN! (Laughter) " OOHH KOOL-AID!!" " MALT LIQUOR!" He's getting excited over every single item he's pulling out of the basket. He gets to the greeting card, " Welcome to Fresno. Love, The Chamber of Commerce. Hell yeah." Then we feel him flipping the card over because his voice changed. He's like " Aw yeah man this is- WHAT THE FUCK?!" (Laughter) Outside the door, we heard " racist bastards!!!" When we heard " racist bastards" we lost it. " AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH." Housekeeping is freaking out. (Spanish) We're laughing, we're crying, we got boogers coming out. We can't take it anymore. We knock on the door (Knock knock) He yells. " WHO IS IT?!" Too easy, " Chamber of Commerce." (Laughter) He rushes the door. I put my finger on the peephole so he can't see who it is right. The knob starts to jiggle then the door explodes open and he's like, " WHAT?!?!" And he sees us, and he's like " AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!" " What's up G?" " Man, ya'll give a brother a heart attack." " Did you like your basket?" " Man, that was messed up." " Did you like it?" " Man, (sniffles) I love all that shit." (Laughter)


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